First Post

Interestingly enough, this blog is a continuation of the xanga entitled “Where are the Snowdens of Yesteryear”, authored by Mackay_Marvolo.

For my first post I have delved into my archives. This post is from March 17, 2007:

Michael: So the other day, I was seized by a great ennui. I decided to watch the entire season of the CBS show Jericho (well at least the season so far).

Me: You said that last part parenthetically?

Michael: Um…sure why not? So anyway, I’m watching it, it’s ok, but obviously it’s a part of this phenomenon of shows with a singular plots that rely on ensemble casts, character development and suspense, i.e. Lost, Prison Break. However, as I am watching this show. I realize that CBS has CBS-ized this genre to fit their network.

Me: CBS-ized?

Michael: Yeah, the show is populated by old, unattractive people, undersexed teenagers, middle-age red-staters, and if there is an anti-hero, he has been severely attenuated and overshadowed by a more traditional hero type. And when I say the teenagers are undersexed, I mean they are like Leave it to Beaver undersexed not 7th Heaven undersexed, along with the twenty and thirty-somethings. Where is the provocative, glossy sexuality of ABC? Where are the prurient teenagers of Fox and the CW? Where is the trenchant, concisive writing of NBC? The evocative, suspenseful writing of ABC? I mean really, I can’t live vicariously through these people!

Me: I see.

Michael: Anyway, the show is about a post-nuclear US, and it takes place in a small town in Kansas. It’s good in some areas, in other areas it’s like some weird amalgam of Touched by An Angel and Men in Trees.

Me: [shudder] Men in Trees.

Michael: I’m sorry, I know how much Men in Trees perturbs you.

Me: I just don’t understand? How can that man be attracted to Ellen’s girlfriend? [shakes head]

Michael: Well as arcane as that comment was…I guess I would say Jericho is for the most satisfactory-for CBS. Really, CBS is just CSI (which I hate and that was parenthetical)…

Me: Oh thanks, that makes things so much easier.

Michael: …with filler. Meanwhile Jericho has Skeet Ulrich in it.

Me: [shudder] The guy whose career is based off his passing resemblance to Johnny Depp.

Michael: Yeah that’s him. Meanwhile…

Me: Really that’s a horrible transition. I can just put in transitions later.

Michael: Oh, like the five minutes later crap.

Me: Fuck you too.

Michael: I don’t like saying “meanwhile,” just like I don’t saying “prick,” but just like “prick” emphasizes how disgusted I am with a person “meanwhile” emphasizes my desperation for a transition. And Fran Drescher on The Nanny said it a lot.

Me: Let’s go over my dislikes again because obviously you have forgotten: Men in Trees, Fran Drescher, Skeet Ulrich, Anne Heche, Raoul Castro, Trey Parker, Delta Burke, Adam West after the 1970s, Casey Affleck and that Vietnamese kid Angelina Jolie just adopted.

Michael: My God, I don’t know where to start. How can you hate Raoul Castro and not Fidel? How can you hate Delta Burke and not the whole cast of Designing Women? How can you hate Casey Affleck and not his brother? How can you hate the Vietnamese kid and not the Cambodian one? How can you hate Fran… well Adam West…never mind.

Me: Well Michael, it’s about nuances and layers of meaning. It’s why I like John Locke on Lost more than Jack Shepherd.

Michael: This is getting to abstruse.

Me: How did you develop this criticism of CBS?

Michael: I guess I had a conversation with myself.

Me: Like right now?

Michael: No I mean earlier yesterday.

Me: …but…

Michael: ?